Black holes possess a wide range of rather peculiar properties, many of them in connection with their ability to process, store and release information. I explore the possibility that the physical origin of these properties is quantum criticality. To this end, I will demonstrate that simple Bose condensates exhibit a plethora of black hole like properties. This includes trapping, baldness, evaporation, entropy, scrambling and the breakdown of semiclassical physics and allows for the exciting possibility to test black hole information processing in labs. It can also serve as a powerful guideline to a quantum field theoretical understanding of black holes.